Thank You Martin, Always a Pleasure

“Thank you Martin, Always a pleasure.” My parting words following an interview for the University Radio last thursday in advance of what turned out to be his Swansong at Hartlepool on Saturday.  As he held the door to his office for us to leave and shook each of us by the hand and thanked us for being there, with hindsight maybe the writing had been on the wall before Martin Allen’s sacking following the woeful display witnessed by 300 fans and the Notts Board. A decision that has taken the fans and indeed many in the footballing world by shock. The statement issued by owner and chairman Ray Trew on Sunday left many more questions than answers…

To start with, there’s no mention of results anywhere in the club’s statement and a variety of rumours suggesting uneasy relationships between the board and manager combined with a conflict of interest in footballing decisions seemed to be what proved to be the end of Allen’s tenure at Notts County. This notion of results having little bearing on the board’s decision is concreted by only Allen mentioned as being “relieved of his duties”, rather than the rest of the management team of Carl Muggleton and John Schofield. An assurance from Ray Trew himself that there would be no “Knee-Jerk reaction” and the decision made was in the best interests of the club has left everyone scratching their heads as to the nature of the parting of company and I’m convinced the whole story will be kept between the individuals involved.

which brings us to who next? Keith Curle is understood by many media outlets to be our next manager as soon as this very afternoon. a man who has never managed above League 2 and struggled in his own right before working with Neil Warnock at QPR for three years. A nasty fans backlash following this revelation has seen a real rift already in place before his appointment. Every man deserves a chance and for Curle, a chance to manage at a higher level than previously with a board and club that back him. If only a select corner of the fans would instil the same faith in the club, rather than angrily making their opinion known with threats of boycotts and refusal to renew season tickets the least of the problems.

This pales in insignificance to the potential bombshell dropped this morning, with strong rumours of Ray Trew himself stepping away from the club following foul abuse levelled at his family through the social networks. No matter what the circumstances around Allen’s dismissal and indeed the seemingly inevitable appointment of Keith Curle, for the clubs ‘saviour’ to walk away… that £10million invested in his two year reign will see us appointing administrators rather than new managers. Anyone involved with abuse towards individuals and indeed their families should be treated with the same severity as those found guilty of racist abuse towards footballers. Nothing less.

Black Stone Cherry: Nothing to blame, not even the Boom Boom

Edmonton Kentucky: A city in one of the few dry counties left in the USA, a safe haven for farmers, families and and old time rock & rollers.

Birmingham, England: Spiritual home of heavy metal and four young men from the deep south have just floored a crowd of 8000 rock fans. Chris Robertson, lead vocalist and guitarist for Black Stone Cherry has just promised the best 45 seconds of our lives and I think we’ve had it. Even better it looks like it was the best 45 seconds of his life too… dripping with sweat and a grin like a cheshire cat. BSC’s elegant blend of southern fried hard rock lying somewhere between Pantera and Skynyrd is a style I, like many others latched on to and instantly loved.

Rewind to 2007…

After pillaging my local record shop (Aberystwyth’s finest Andy’s Records) for what I was sure would be my album of the year and playing it until even my Coldplay loving mum liked it (or said she did just to humour me and get me to go away…) but it took their sophomore release – Folklore and Superstition for them to cement their place as one of the shining lights for the classic rock revival we’ve been experiencing.

O2 Academy Birmingham. a packed out crowd of people just like myself, keen to see kentucky’s finest do their thing. And they do it with STYLE. Confident, accomplished and at ease with their adopted home across the pond, we were treated to quite a show. In fact I’ve still got the drumstick lurking at home, blu-tacked to the wall next to the ticket from that night.

June 2009, Download Festival. Classic Rock Sunday explodes as a roar of “Here comes the rain” ignites the 80,000 strong crowd on as sunny a sunday afternoon as possible in the East Mids. Considering last time our paths crossed was a club show, I was expecting a band in awe at the step up. Wrong! A classy slot reminiscent of a band with decades of experience, the ballads are played, the anthems sung and for many the highlight of the weekend’s music.

November 2011. Birmingham again. A performance to put headliners Alter Bridge to shame, charm and charisma, the best of all three albums as well as an effortless cover of Adele’s superhit Rolling in the Deep and the crowd are at the mercy of the band. By the time the ever memorable riff to Blame it on the Boom Boom rings across the LG arena, Chris Robertson’s call for “everyone, left to right, I want to see you dancing” is answered by every one privileged enough to see the show. One more album of the same quality as their past efforts and it’s easy to see this humble group command these arenas as headliners and from there? The only way is Donington.

The Not-Too-Friendly Zone

The friend zone. Most of us will have visited it at least once in our lives (if not more). Girls, its that moment when you realise that this guy you know is really nice, and you think “wow, I’m so glad we’re just friends”. Guys, it’s that moment when you think “fuck”.

When you’re too good friends with them to go out, or as an excuse to not ruin a friendship

Let’s start with the classic scenario; guy meets girl. Guy wants to have sex with/go out with girl. Guy tries ‘friends first’. Girl starts to see guy only as friend. Guy becomes eternally cock-blocked by girl’s (lack of) feelings towards him. Guy complains on Reddit. Anyone who read and related to that has been (or is) in the friend zone. I asked 14 of my friends last week what they thought about the friend zone and how they would describe it in one sentence (some chose to provide more anyway). To keep the views fair and balanced, I made sure to ask 7 men and 7 women.

In general, the results which this research provided were pretty much I as expected; men complain about how the friend zone is a place to be avoided/escaped, but concede that entry into the zone is their own fault for their lack of action. Women, on the other hand, see it as a good thing which is there to preserve friendships and bring people closer. Some women haven’t even heard of such a concept – to them it’s just two friends hanging out and nothing is weird.

When you’ve spent 1 second too long waiting to make your move and are destined for an eternity of thinking “crap…”

So what is the friend zone? Well everyone who knows about it seems to agree that it’s a place a man will end up in if he likes a woman but does nothing about it – once you are in that place sex is prohibited, as is everything else to do with a relationship. At this point the man either becomes friends with the woman or pushes her away completely. In the former case, however, it’s usually not smooth sailing, since he wanted to be more than friends from the word go. In this case, he will probably reveal his true feelings eventually, but will be rejected when he does (he’s in the friend zone, remember). I would also like to point out that while the gender roles in this example can be reversed, it’s very uncommon for them to be.

When you pass a point in a woman’s mind where she goes from thinking “that guy seems ok, maybe if he did (XYZ) I could see myself hooking up with him” to “awwww, I love that guy so much. He’s so cool, he’s really nice and friendly, it would be really weird if anything happened though. It’s when you get too close

The awkward area where usually one (or both) of the people in the friendship wants something more but are exiled there out of awkwardness or unrequited feelings. Usually at least one of the people is aware of them exiling the other and either does it purposefully or mourns its existence.

The first question to ask now is obviously; how do you know you’re in the friend zone? Unfortunately it isn’t crystal clear if the object of your desire has booted you into the most miserable area to be since the away block at Old Trafford… not without making the leap and asking them, anyway. However, there’s a good chance you’re in the dreaded zone if:

• You’ve hung out with the person many times as friends without there being anything to suggest you’re more than that
• He/she starts calling you a ‘good friend’ or worse, their ‘best friend’
• The person starts asking you for relationship advice (regarding someone else)

There’s a much bigger list I could construct but we do try to keep these posts concise, as much as we fail to do so, but the above are a good starting point.

Finally, then, we come to the only main reason you’re still reading about this law of social boundaries… how do you escape the friend zone? Well, there are a few theories to entertain. Firstly there’s the Mark Corrigan method – take them to a funeral. Personally I don’t recommend this at all (for surely obvious reasons) as a means for getting out of the friend zone, but if you’re looking to make a solid comedy show then go right ahead. The second method comes from a fellow redditor called jacobheiss – the long and short of his method is to “reset the relationship hard enough to jolt it out of that state of affairs, which is also hard enough to effectively lose the relationship”. Basically, it involves revealing your feelings and effectively de-friending the other person if they don’t respond positively. Ok, that’s a bit harsh, he does raise some good points but it does involve risking losing the other person completely if things don’t go to plan. I’m going to reserve judgement on it and let you see for yourselves – there’s been mixed reviews on it. Finally, the method which I recommend – don’t end up there in the first place. Make your intentions clear from the get-go and a whole world of shit can be avoided. The amount of trials and tribulations I hear from friends’ relationships which is simply down to a lack of communication is ridiculously large.

But hey, don’t just take my word for it – try your own methods if you have them. Good luck.

JC

The complete list of (remaining) quotes obtained:

A place to avoid
 
 

I can’t say I know much, I’ve never been in a group of people that do the friend zone thing

It’s bullshit and you must escape it. Use it for the non-hot girls with hot friends
 
 

Its the physiological group in which someone gets placed, in another’s mental directory. Once you’re placed there you never get out of it and are seen in a platonic way only

It’s the guy’s inability to convey sexual threat or intent in favour of being seen as a nice guy and not being rejected
 
 
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It’s where a girl doesn’t want to sacrifice their friendship with a guy in case the relationship goes wrong and they lose that friend forever. (Also maybe a way of saying you’re a friend but i don’t fancy you enough to want to see you naked…)

The friend zone is the purgatory of relationships – it sure as hell isn’t getting better and it could get a lot worse
 

It’s a good place to be… I think it’s nice to be that good friends with someone.. especially because guys our age have no respect for girls they get with

I think it’s a bit of a myth because being good friends is the foundation of a good relationship, but there are other circumstances where you might spend so much time with a girl you see them as more of a sibling type figure than a friend/potential partner
 
 
 
 
 

I would say that the friend zone is the point at which you are no longer viewed in a sexual context. You become asexualised in their eyes. To avoid the friend zone you need to assert very early on that you have intentions and if they are rejected at that point you can move on and become friends if you so desire. Examples of it are all over reddit, sometimes girls are just oblivious to the sexual intentions of their friend